January 02, 2003
OH. MY. GOD. Blogging, twice in a row! Well, told'ya I'd be more active. But, aren't you all blessed? Hehe. Another really fun, long, boring, pointless blog entry for you to skim over... ^^

Well, it's Friday! Okay, I'll be leaving around 4:00 PM, but I'll just start this lil' blog off with a *dadadada* FRIDAY FIVE! Heh... so, you'll learn a bit more about me. Okay, here goes:

1. What is one thing you don't like about your body? THE one thing? What about A one thing? I hate nearly EVERYTHING about my body, but now I'll just give you my.. waist. Too big, too thick. I swear, it's so huge it's like a tree trunk. Or a whale. *sighs* Why can't I be cute and slender and all that shit? *people stare* Fiiiine. I'll just up ^^

2. What are two things you love about your body? Two thing I love about my body *rips brain out thinking*. Okay, I have great skin. It's smooth. It's soft. It has a nice color, too, and is acne free! I have commercial skin that I love. ^^ Another thing would be.. gahhh XDD Body makes it hard, but my.. *do hands and feet and stuff count?* legs. My legs aren't TOO bad. They're not great, but everything else is too horrible for anything. My legs are actually ugly, but I have no alternative. Isn't that SAD?

3. What are three things you want to change about your home? Erm, okay. My room. The color of my walls are TOO BORING! I want something funkier, cause' they're just an off-white color right now with some really cute curtains. But, a pastel would be great ^^ I'd love a pastel! And.. let's see.. my relationship with my parents is kinda like shit, so I'd like that too be more successful. I mean, we're not constantly bitching out at each other, but still. We suck, haha. I do love my mom and my dad, but sometimes.. I get so pissed off it's like I'm not even me *sadly*... and the third thing! Hmm. Maybe some more Swarovski Crystals? Cause' we're currently collecting them and I love them, but we only have about 10-15 pieces. I want at least 50 ^^ I LOVE SWAROVSKI! In fact, it might be the theme for my next blog layout.. but don't copy me. 'Kayz? Hehehe.. you guys'll see. ^^

4. What are four books you want to read this year? Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix *who DOESN'T?* er.. the Giver... I'd like to finish "A Dream of Red Mansions" (which is about as thick as a dictionary and has the same size font *dies*) but an AWESOME story. It's a chinese classic, but I got it translated into english fully, since my Chinese kinda sucks. Gahh. Wo de zhong wen hen ke pa! I speak Mandarian, though, not Cantonese. Heh.

5. What are five promises you have kept to yourself? I've been more civil to my parents.. eaten less spicy food.. learned SOME HTML.. been more active in school activies... and gotten better grades, I'd think. I just got 5 of my tests/quizzes back yesterday and all but one were 100% ^^ Hehe.. that's five, isn't it?

That just took a LONG time. Okay, about my blog! I'll be putting up a CUTE NEW LAYOUT REALLY soon, so watch for it, 'kay? I'll probably need some help on the HTML, though. But I'm gonna base this one around Swarovski ^^ Hah.

Okay, next time.. me's will do my news in my blog, kay'? I know these are so boring it isn't even funny.. and stuff DOES happen in my life. But, I'm too lazy to type. Hmm. If I just gave you a lil' sketch of last week's events, you'd probably be reading a short story!

Okay, zai jian! Hehe...I checked haloscan, and it's still down *cries* so DON'T BLAME ME!

Chyna
sipped her tea at 2:33 Pm

January 02, 2003
*nodnod* Hey, all. Guess what? You'll be in for some surprises today- first of all- I'm actually *happy*! Amazing!

Okay, that was kind of lame. I'm not generally THAT depressed.. just er.. okay, fine. Depressed. But y'know, that never comes out when I chat and shit. So, you see sad me ere' and happy me elsewhere. Aren't you glad you don't always see bitchy Chyna? *what the hell am I saying.. ??*

Okay, some news! First of all, the whole BLOGGING thing is amazing.I'm kinda er... lazy, so I don't get on too much ^^ Sad, eh? Anyways, I actually have a life. Sure, it's second-hand, but it's STILL a LIFE. And that's probably *ahem* alot more than most of you can say.. anyways, back to business. Yep! First of all, guess who might be hosting me? That ever-talented Spongebob *or at least I THINK he likes Spongebob Squarepants* loving....MIIIIIIKE! Thanks alot, if you still want to.. hehe. If I move to fusion.nu, you guys will have the pleasing of viewing a brand new layout. W00t.

Okay, added some more friends in da harmony section! Lesse.. plugs to al'la'ya!

Suu Glarie Cherie Peace Daisuke Sapphyre Taikou Hikari Tori Nikki SK Time Keeper Bubble Cristina Fantasy Shorty Mike Hika Gerri

Okay, that just took FOREVER. Well, okay, no. But ONE MINUTE IS FOREVER TO ME! I'll add the cliques soon, okay? ^^

What other news.. er.. that's right! I'll be in Shanghai and Tokyo in MARCH! W0000t! Isn't that seriously awesome? Of course, I gotta be a good lil' girl now. So, wish me luck? Heh. I'll be going to do lotsa shopping, so I'll probably be pretty broke- wait a minute- who cares?!!! I'm GOING TO SHANGHAI AND TOKYO! I'll have a rocking time. I'm gunna go to Hello Kitty Land in Japan, and do lotsa manga shopping and clothing shopping and make-up shopping and CD shopping and accessory shopping *do any of you care?* and IN SHANGHAI! Yay! Me's favorite place. I'd say more, but those of you who know me well enough know I'll gunna be pu-reeetty happy going there ^^

Hmm. Is there ANYTHING else? Lots has happened this week ^^ Er.. fights, break-ups, trouble, good shit... erm... okay, I'm too lazy to type. So, this is a news post, I guess Oo; and I'll promise you all I'll be MORE ACTIVE soon, ne?

I'll also add a haloscan thing, 'kayz?

Chyna
sipped her tea at 10:54 Pm

January 02, 2003
People often ask you whether you dream in black and white or color.

I guess I'm a dreamer in color- I love dreams. There's something very comforting about them to me, since my dreams don't usually turn into nightmares or such. To me, dreams are bright red EXIT signs from the world.

I see, however, in black and white. Not literally, of course- figuratively. My world sucks, to put it bluntly. I guess I sound a little depressed, but wouldn't you be depressed, too, if the person in your life who lowered your self-esteem the most was your own mother? I mean, moms are supposed to love you and say things like- "My little girl is so pretty and smart!" and maybe scold you once in a while, but still really care about you. Mine is different; she doesn't even LIKE me, let alone care. And no, I'm not "just saying that", okay? It's the complete truth. She's said that she hates me herself.

She's always finding fault with me. How I'm not neat and organized enough, and how I'm not completely into my studies. Well, what teenager IS completely tidy, and what teenager DOES spend his or her entire life enthralled with books about the NASA space program (no offense to NASA, they're cool, but y'know) or whatever? Not I, for one. Okay, so I'm actually a bit more messy than most people my age. My locker is crammed with books that tend to attack unsuspecting people when I open it, I'll admit. And my room is none too clean. Clothes strewn all over the floor, and a cluster of junk on my nightstand. But, I'm working on that. My mom just hates my being so disorganized. Not in that fussy way, in the "hatred" way. She says I'm completely "disgusting" and "so easy to hate". Damn, I never knew I was so unpopular.

And as for my reluctance to study- I'll tell you this: I bet I pour over my textbooks alot more than the average teenager (including asians, yes) because I'm forced to do extra math, and english, and chinese.. and many other subjects out of school. I'm not stupid, but simply lazy. I DISLIKE doing homework, is that so strange? But it's not like I have an extremely low GPA or whatever. I'm not sure what it is, but I know my average percentage is 94%. Which is good, considering that I go to a private school where people who get C-'s in the senior years end up at the top of their classes in University.

And God! There's so much more. My mother tells me I'm fat, ugly, and completely unlovable. So I'm not the most skinny person in the world, I'll admit. But I'm not a huge lump, at least. I'm not a size four, but I do at least fit into sizes 6-8. That's not too huge, is it? I wish I were thinner, though. Because this whole fatness thing is really getting to me. And as for ugly? Yeah, she says it many a time as well. She never has a good comment about my looks, which really hurts- she says I look like- a cow. Isn't that mean? I know I'm not gorgeous, but I'm not THAT ugly. And she doesn't joke around, she says it in the meanest way possible. Like the top cheerleader/homecoming queen stereotype does in those movies about high school life.

I don't even want to get into the unlovable part.

God, there are all these damned emotions pulsing through me and for once, I can't even express them. I used to think writing was the perfect way of letting out my anger (and for some reason, giving myself a makeover was great for sad feelings) but now... I just can't. I can't let it out like I used to, anymore. I really, really want to destroy something. Something insignificant, like cracking that lovely stack of pencils in the little pencil holder next to be would be quite satisfactory, thank you very much.

But, I'll try to sound happier. Let's see- what's happened? Well, I really don't feel like giving an account of my activities for the previous days. All I've basically been doing is shopping around and hanging.. you know, normal, boring stuff. No funny anecdotes, either. I'm beginning to hate the mall, because all the people I go shopping with are complete bitches sometimes. The only good shopping trip I remember lately, is one I took in the Summer with a friend I barely even see now. I don't have too many happy memories- gah- I'm doing it again, being depressed. I hate depression, but there's something so sensually satisfacting about it. Like I've proven that I'm some weird little tragic heroine. Don't ask.

I added alot of people to my harmony section, and will continue to add them after this entry. I'm so lazy ^^ Hmm, would you do us a favour and visit? I can't plug. I just feel like there's a weight on my shoulders, hope you'll understand.

Ciao?

Chyna,

sipped her tea at 10:02 PM

December 30, 2002
So here I am, sitting placidly at my computer and staring at my blog with a completely stupid smile on my face ^^ After all, it's my first ever site (okay, coded by Suu, who is beyond talented) but the layout was MADE by me! Okay, so it's not the best. But, it'll get better, won't it? Let's hope so. You know, I always did wonder why people wanted to reveal their innermost thoughts on the web, for thousands of people to read... but, it seems like fun. Ironically daring, but since others can't really see your face, it makes that all the better.

Other than that, let me thank a bunch of people! Suu, of course, for the HTML help... Glarie for all the graphic and random help.. Bubble too, for getting me started (and I'd link her, but I forgot her blog's URL!)- hmm, to all my peeps, who supported me *bows* God, I sound like I'm making an acceptance speech for some fancy award Oo;

This blog won't be the most exciting blog to read, I'd think. I have some insights, but they're altogether a bit.. boring, and people say I make them feel uncomfortable with them Oo;. Don't ask, I don't mean to do it ^^ I guess I just do. Oh, and the fact that I have NO life helps too.. so, this'll be a boring blog. Or, that is, if I'm not ranting and raving about how much the world can suck.. *lot's of swearing, in different languages. Can be EDUCATIONAL!* so that's kind of interesting. Hey, we're sadists. We like to see people unhappy ^^ (jk, jk..)

So, what's going on in my life? Well, this being Winter Vacation.. things rock. I was at the mall yesterday (yes, I'll admit it: Chyna's a MALL RAT!) with my little cousin, who is so damn pretty and cute, (mixed, half Shanghainese like me, and half Italian) and my aunt and mum. Nope, I don't always go shopping with my relatives like a good lil' girl.. but this time, it was fun. We hung around at these huge mall, Metrotown (for all the people in Vancouver, w00000t!) and took a million of those cute little card booth pics. All, of course, made me look like a witch ^^ Anyways, we were at her house before the little shopping trip.. and we watched Harry Potter ^^ (looks at Suu Oo;)I've seen it in theaters... but, it was nice just relaxing and watching it at her house. I swear, I must've finished of a whole box of POCKY (which has about 3, 4 packs?) of all assorted flavours *smiles*.. and that, my dear, makes Chyna happy. Chyna is quite frightening when she is pissed off, but a VERY HYPER one is even worse. Be glad you don't see her like it, too much ^^

Okay, so wasn't that REALLY boring? I'll try to liven it up with a bit of entertainment news. I heard this from Suu (yep, I talk with Suu ALOT- one of my best friends *huggles*) that BoA might play Cho Chang in the HP third movie! That would be just AWESOME. Sure, I'm not a HUGE BoA fan, but she's still fairly cool. I like her "Jewel Song" "No.1" and "Amazing Kiss". Good singer, but gahh.. she got her face lift way too young. I'm just glad she's not walking around, strutting her chest out like Britney Spears *shrudders* that's what's good about Azn-Pop/Rock, girls aren't slutty... the guys are sometimes REALLY feminine, though. By friend's pretty sad because GACKT is more feminine than she is ^^

I don't know if you'll agree with this, but my mother is always saying I act like a guy. I disagree.. I think I'm really on the "girly" side. I mean, I like pink, for one. And cute stuffed animals, and flowers.. and tea.. do guys LIKE that kind of thing? Well, she claims it's my personality. I'm firey, opinionated, rude.. *dies* never thought those were GUY qualities. And am I rude? Nope. Sure, I'm opinionated, but I don't think I'm rude. Excuse me saying that.. I've always valued good manners (no, I am not one of those Charm School obsessed people, okay?) and like to excercise them. Of course, we're always a bit rude to our mothers.. so I guess that's sort of justified.

This New Year's, though, one of my resolutions is to get along with my parents. I'm a bit of a rebel, I'll admit. I don't like or listen to authority (though, you'll never catch me on a motorbike, wearing a leather jacket, shades, and sporting a tattoo) because I hate feeling inferior. That's the thing about authoring- they have this superior attitude, which is really subtle. And I'm sensitive (annoyingly so) and pick it up. Adults seem to think they know EVERYTHING, and never really give us a chance. Gah, I'm not too good on the subject, and I really don't know exactly why I'm so.. rebellious at times, but this could be a major factor ^^ Anyways, I'll try to crush my pride in 2003- you know the saying. "Pride goes before a fall."

By the way, cool date for the blog to open, hmm? December 31st, the last day of the year!

Chyna
sipped her tea at 12:32 Pm